Jan 182011
An email from a friend who is a true Southerner:
To help some of you Yankees better understand the rich Southern culture, here are a few of the things you will never hear a Southern Gentleman say.
- I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
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You can’t fix that with duct tape.
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You can’t feed that to the dog.
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Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
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I’ll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
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Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
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The tires on that truck are too big.
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I’ll have the arugula and radiccio salad.
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Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
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Checkmate.
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She’s too old to be wearing that bikini.
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Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” we haven’t seen.
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I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
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Those shorts should be a little longer, Darla.
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My fiancé Mary Jo is registered at Tiffany’s.
Before the War of Northern Agression, it was well accepted that the South was the most cultured part of the nation. It would perhaps not be best to glorify the damage done to the south by ignorant and uncultured yankees.